Chapter 7 - ELI TOLD THE THERAPIST ABOUT THE “GOOD HOUSE”
I found Eli a child therapist.
Her name was Dr. Natalie Brooks.
After the third session, with Eli’s permission and appropriate boundaries, she told me something I needed to understand.
My mother had been speaking to him for months.
Not daily.
Strategically.
Little comments.
Your mom works too much.
Aunt Denise has a room you could use.
Harper gets better schools.
Your mom worries about bills because she made bad choices.
Then the worst one:
Sometimes loving your mother means letting adults help her by taking pressure off.
I cried in my car afterward.
Diane had transformed separation into sacrifice.
If Eli resisted leaving me, he was selfishly hurting his exhausted mother.
If he accepted Denise, he was helping me.
That was why he had eaten insults silently.
Why he had stopped me from leaving.
He thought he was protecting our family by cooperating with the people trying to dismantle it.
That night, I told him:
“You never have to make yourself smaller to make my life easier.”
He looked at me.
“But you’re tired.”
“Yes.”
“And bills make you sad.”
“Sometimes.”
“So I can help.”
“You can put away your toys.”
He smiled slightly.
“You can feed the cat.”
“We don’t have a cat.”
“Exactly. Very easy job.”
He laughed.
Then I became serious.
“You cannot fix my money problems by leaving me.”
His eyes filled.
“Okay.”
“And you do not have to earn your place with me.”
That time, he climbed into my arms.
Eight years old.
Already carrying adult arithmetic.
May you like
I held him until he stopped.
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