Citizen

Chapter 5 - JASON’S LETTER

Jason waited six weeks.

Then wrote me.

The envelope came through Lena.

I nearly refused to read it.

Then Ethan asked:

“Is it from Jason?”

“Yes.”

“Is he saying sorry?”

“I don’t know.”

“Read it.”

So I did.

Alone first.

Rachel,

Dad says I shouldn’t contact you directly. Mom says I should apologize so you stop using the messages against everybody. I think both reasons are messed up, so I’m writing this because I want to.

I almost smiled.

At sixteen, Jason was finally discovering adults could all be wrong at once.

I broke Ethan’s airplane on purpose.

No accident.

I was mad because he wouldn’t let me use his headphones. But that’s not the whole reason.

My chest tightened.

Mom kept saying your kids were taking Dad away from us. She said every time you made rules, it was because you were trying to replace her. Dad would tell us privately not to listen to you too much because he didn’t want Mom getting angry.

There.

The impossible position again.

The group chat made being mean to you feel like a joke. Dad laughed. Mom encouraged it. Alyssa and I started trying to see who could make you mad.

I stopped reading.

Had Daniel understood what he created?

A competition.

I thought because Dad was laughing, it meant you deserved it.

Then:

I know that sounds stupid.

It sounded sixteen.

Not stupid.

Dangerous.

I’m not blaming them for what I did to Ethan. I picked up the plane. I broke it. I smiled after. That part is mine.

Good.

Very good.

I also said Ethan wasn’t family. That was cruel. He never did anything to me except be annoying sometimes. He’s eight. I’m sixteen. I should have known better.

I cried at that sentence.

Not because it fixed anything.

Because responsibility had finally entered the room.

Then:

I want to pay for the airplane, but Dad says money won’t fix it. He’s right. If Ethan wants nothing from me, I understand.

Jason

I showed Ethan.

Not automatically.

I asked.

He wanted it.

He read slowly.

Then sat on his bed holding the letter.

“Can he pay for the glue?”

I blinked.

“Only the glue?”

“And paint.”

“Why?”

“He can’t buy the airplane.”

Ethan looked offended that I needed this explained.

“We made it.”

My throat tightened.

“Yes.”

“So he can pay for fixing what he broke.”

That was fair in a way adults rarely manage.

Jason mailed $28.

A few weeks later, Ethan bought new balsa wood.

Not to replace the first airplane.

To build another.

May you like

Bigger.

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