Chapter 5 - LILY THOUGHT HER MOTHER HAD GIVEN HER AWAY
The custody hearing mattered.
Lily’s therapy mattered more.
Her therapist, Dr. Elise Warren, never asked her to choose between parents.
Never interrogated her.
Never turned her into a witness for me.
Good.
Because Lily already carried too much.
One night in the hotel, before I found a temporary apartment, she asked:
“Does Mommy still want me?”
I put down the book I was reading.
“What makes you ask that?”
She picked at the blanket.
“She let Grandma hit me.”
My chest tightened.
“Your mom made a very bad choice.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know all of her reasons.”
“Was I bad?”
“No.”
“I spilled the juice.”
“Accidents do not make you bad.”
She became quiet.
Then:
“Mommy said I deserved it.”
There are moments when a parent wants to erase reality to spare a child.
I could have said:
She didn’t mean it.
She was upset.
She loves you.
All three might even have been partly true.
But none answered Lily’s question.
So I said:
“Mommy was wrong.”
Her eyes filled.
“Can moms be wrong?”
“Yes.”
“Dads too?”
I almost smiled.
“Definitely.”
Then I told her something I needed to live by myself.
“When adults are wrong, being family doesn’t make the wrong thing right.”
Lily leaned against me.
After a minute, she asked:
“Are you going to hurt Uncle Marcus?”
“No.”
Immediate.
“I said something angry that night. I should not have said it.”
“He wouldn’t let us leave.”
“I know.”
“Then he was bad.”
“He made a bad choice.”
She thought.
“So everybody made bad choices?”
“Pretty much.”
“What about me?”
I kissed the top of her head.
“You spilled juice.”
She finally smiled.
“That was a bad choice?”
“That was gravity.”
She laughed.
First time since Christmas.
May you like
I held onto that sound.
---
